Кевин - Polynesian Sass

Batty boy, I travelling through a box!


Zelda – Ocarina du Temps

On my way back to the TGV station in Nice, I made a last minute splurge on my birthday, a Nintendo 3DS.  Spent my 6 hour train trip back to Paris fiddling away on shady 4G coverage and downloading updates.

When I got back home, I headed over to the Nintendo eShop to download Zelda Ocarina du Temps.  Having played Zelda on Nintendo Wii, I missed the mix of puzzle, exploration and sword poking little monsters.

Look at me, I’m miserable because I have no face. -Bongo Bongo the Bitch

Getting to grips with the 3D side of it and Navi being a little bitch about taking pauses to combat fatigue and permanent eye damage, I managed to get myself to « Le Temple de l’Ombre« .  I’m not going to lie, this happy clappy prick Bongo-Bongo is starting to get on my nerves, have to shoot his hands, poke his eye and all while it’s bonging the drums and squishing stupid Link.

My plan is to some how avoid killing this one for a while, because it’s annoying me.  I found out how to access La Forteresse Gérudo, which will provide a good respite from having to deal with my new arch enemy on the RER C.

Over all (other than Bongo-Bongo) the game is pretty high on my will recommend scale and for 19,99€ is pretty much a steal !

Also available on ec.je.


Bonne Franceaversaire

Creepy Google Photos has been sending me notifications of panoramas, stalkerish videos and the occasional album of geolocated pics.

As iCreepy as this is, it took the time to remind me that I’ve been in France for four years now.  My official move date was in November but my first round of coming over and finding jobs was May 2013.

Since then I managed to get good at the administration game and the delicate dance that is finding a propriétaire who likes you so much they overlook holes in your dossier.

It’s a strange place this country, but I’m going to have to up my game next year when I apply for permanent residency.

Also available on ec.je.


Life With Cat

It’s hard to live with a small creature that thinks it’s a bad ass lion and is pretty much nocternal, but Madame La Bitch has started to mellow down a bit from her trademark violent tendancies.

She has decided to be tolerant or dare I even say loving.  It’s been a while since she’s lashed out in classic Kaja manner, in fact she is sleeping next to me now.  It seems my little kitty has developped in to a lazy ass old cat.

Although in her head she’s still this.
Also available on ec.je.



Getting back in to the good old days of video games, I went to search for my favourite game in the 90s.  And I found it, ladies and gentlemen, je vous présent Quarantine.

As Abandonia puts it « Take the thrill, excitement and plot of Crazy Taxi and place Duke Nukem in the driverseat. This is how I would describe Quarantine. It’s fast, action-packed and extremely exhilarating. » and they are not wrong.Read the rest of this entry »Réduire )

Also available on ec.je.


The Great Escape to Nice

Now commences the great escape to Nice on the idTGV (basically the front carriages of your average TGV), a rather cheap excursion  for a mere 24 hours that coincides with my time of the birth.

This being the first time since I have been in France that I have took a TGV anywhere, it’s a rather interesting experience and by that I mean, slightly more classy than your average RER C but just as late and over half the cost of a NaviGo for one way.

I also booked an AirBNB in the middle of Nice, close to the veille ville to look at Nice (see what I did there) things and take selfies.  Hopefully this will be the start of taking short little excursions across France, because while Le Penis is still not yet voted in and all immigrants such as my over employed ass are booted out.  Choisir La France as she says.

« I think it is a first class compulsory light » -Claire

Currently we are struggling (myself and Claire) to select hashtags for her instagram, trying to pull from the wealth of knowledge of Kim Kardashian were are trying to determine which hashtag one would use after #1erclasse.

We are those anglophones on this train.

One of the benefits of taking this line is that there are wannabe models all over the place, one of them has a small dogs that I’m fairly sure is a well coiffured rat.  The magic of Paris comes to the south.

Seeing as I have pretty much no functional réseau I may as well post this now.  No doubt I will write a bit more, seeing as there is another 5 hours to go.

Also available on ec.je.

Crack is Whack!

LJ 18th anniversary

#mylivejournal #lj18 #happybirthday


The Life and Times of Capote Girl

When I started this post it was Paris fashion week (#fäshönë #hautebitch), incidentally it was also the same day I finally got a hold of the documents needed to solidify my place in French society at the Préfecture.

After paper pushing all morning, having my finger prints taken and a surprsingly not so difficult interaction with the Sécu (who of course still haven’t written to me), me and Lauren went out on the town.  And by out to town, I mean eating lunch in the park, walking around seeing the Parisien things and then finalising a nice day out at Bespoke.

During our walk around, we stumbled across Paris Fashion Week, a whole lot of basic bitches who write on wordpress fashionistas wandering about, trying to stand out and sometimes in the same fashion as each other #fauxpas.  The most memorable moment was stopping in front of a load of photographers snapping pics of some nobody, before we realised that, basically people got to move, and barged our way through.  Because fuck you, we pay our taux d’habitation.

Equally during this time, there was a girl with some kind of condom like head wear, as we passed another set of equally « not very fashion week » girls past and giggled « CAPOTE GIRL » loud enough for the model to give a scowl.  I don’t know why, since she was rocking that Look Préservatif™.

I can say now that after this whole Brexit shit is starting to go downhill at an alarmingly hilarious place, I’m more confident in my personal outcome considering I now have it recorded as my move to Paris being in 2013 and my Titre de Séjour being issued.  In 2018 I can then take on the challenge of permanent residency by getting my mountain of papers in order for the next round of Cauchemars Bureaucratie.

Side note: It’s been 23 days in my drafts this post.  I am trying after all.

Also available on ec.je.


Day Two

This post is the second version, because it turns out when your tablet locks without saving the draft it will delete everything.  Because screw you.

The month has started and the last two days I haven’t done a whole lot, I have been somewhat busy with this appointment I have with the Préfecture de Police tomorrow morning to get my Carte de Séjour sorted out.  Because I do not want to have to go back to Theresa May’s Utopian Hell Hole that is the current state of affairs in the UK.

Also I left Canada a long time ago, so it lacks appeal to go back there either.  I firmly have my foot in the door in France and to hell will I leave.  I just mastered the art of bureaucracy at the French Standard (TM).

I have taken as well my last delivery order of food, I must cut costs and takeaway is on the hit list.  Obviously the occasional dine out experience whether it be fast or not will be the new norm, being lazy AF and hitting up Alloresto is off the books.

I also find myself not eating as much, looking at my FatBit scale racking up the killos like it’s going out of style is not cool and I feel like crap for it.  I reckon this should help put an end to this.  Hopefully.

My bank account is looking OK at the moment, which has been some time since that last happened.  Most of my bills are out and not all of my wages are in, so I need to keep this up and the plan is to end the month with a positive balance in the account of more than two figures.

I also decided to walk back from the Champs d’Enfer (Elysées) which is a part of the month plan, as I don’t do even nearly enough as I should and FatBit reminds me of that daily.

On that note I am tired and I must awake early to perform in the circus that is French Bureaucracy in two different offices.  So I bid you a good night blog.

Also available on ec.je.


30 Days to Try Something New

I will make an actual effort to try and find new things to do in Paris this next month.  Mainly because I have become too much of a indoor cat lady recently

But she is a nice enough cat right?

Considering there is a world available to me outside my home and I’m far too lazy after working to go and see it, is kind of a waste.

So during March I will be making an effort to go and see things outside of my four walls and furry monster.  First it starts with the french bureaucratic system to get my carte de séjour sorted out, make an effort to buy some new clothes and go away from the three day rotation I am currently on.  Get a new bed sorted out so I can expand my space in my small apartment.

And of course blog the crap out of this for clicks, because I am that shallow (and like fucks, clicks are something I do not have much of right now).  But in a less shallow hipster way, actually use this blog for what I have always done, just one big book of things to read later on to see what I was doing when I was doing it.

Good times.

Also available on ec.je.


Dreams are the Most Odd of Things

Generally enjoyed a little bit of an extra sleep last night, which has been odd as I’m too tired to function but too awake to be sleeping.  The old chestnut of life as they say, and by they I mean nobody, because that is not a saying at all.

But I digress.  During my slumber, I had perhaps the most bizarre dream of all, it started by renting a hotel room in a Hilton, in some urban waste land, perhaps modern day Detroit.  Hard to tell really.

The room was rather massive as one would expect for the US, considering that in my dreams I happen to be as broke as I am in RL, I generally book on the cheap.  But not this time.  It came to light in this dreamland that the room cost 5.000$ a night and I did not have that kind of hard currency on me.

So I ran from that bill.  I just hope I don’t get trapped in Cour des Rêves next week after that debacle.  After the mid sleep pee, I returned to the madness that is my subconcious.  We were driving, somewhere, I assume in Northern Ireland perhaps.  My chauffer decided to drop me off at some nowhere ville and speed off (because he was a complete douchebag) and I happened to acquire a bar, to which I ran.

Concerningly I had installed a fully functional till and reservation system before my alarm went off, do you know what kind of awkward success that was?  Probably not.  And I’ll probably forget when I start waking up later.

There was of course the flurry of annoying life references, those people you had wished had been courteous enought to not invade your dream space (unless they’re spectacularly dying en mode film d’action/thriller).

Before I forget, at some point in this dream I ended up accidentally running a hooker empire.  Not entirely sure why, but I did and I did it so successfully I impacted house prices. 

Also available on ec.je.


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