Кевин (mmn) wrote,

Your humour is mediocre at best, so is your station too.

So this morning I receive a call, the man is clearly barking mad, or at
least this is what it transpires to be for about 30 seconds before it
clicks in, this might be a wind up. Imagine the following them
parts in a highly posh voice and not completely verbatum.

Me: Alroite m'luver* Hot Balloon Flight Corp Ltd, Kevin Speaking, how can
I be of help?
Them: Calvin? Yes?
Me: It's Kevin.
Them: It's Harrold Double-Barrelled Surname!
Me: Hello!
Them: I'm looking for a balloon flight, like that Richard Branson chap!
Them: I'm looking for a valentines flight!
Me: Well unfortunately I don't have one on valentines day as we are fully
booked, however, I can do a voucher for a flight on a later date.
Them: I don't want a voucher, I would like a flight! Can I book a flight
and I'll call it a valentines gift!
Me: Alright, we start off from (price) for M-F AM vouchers...
Them: I want to book a ballon flight to Paris, can I fly to Paris?!
Me: (phone on mute) I have a fucking wind up here.
Me: I'm sorry we can't fly to Paris I'm afraid, we can only fly up to 10
miles from where we take off.
Them: I want to fly from my estate in Leicestershire to Paris!
Me: Unfortunately we can't do that I'm afraid, it's not possbile.
Them: Richard Branson did it around the world!
Me: (wtf pause) .... (more blank space) I'm sorry that's not possible
with one of our ride flights..
Them: Calais!
Me: Unfortunately that's not possible I'm afraid.
Them: London!
Me: Unfortunately that's not possible I'm afraid.
Them: Paris!
Me: Unfortunately that's not possible I'm afraid.
Them: So what can I do for valentines?
Me: As I have advised I can do a flight voucher for another time,
however, we wouldn't be able to do what you have asked for. Is there
anything else I can do for you today otherwise I will need to terminate
this call.
Them: Vienna!
Me: I'm sorry I now have to terminate this call, thank you for calling
good bye.

After I got off the phone I said, that sounded like a piss poor radio
prank, and more than likely to be from the countries shittiest local radio
station, Heart FM.

The prank was neither cleaver nor funny, so it had to be them!

We later listened to the call again, did a google on the name he used and
low and behold it was Heart FM out of the East Midlands. Supprise.

I found the washed up looking never have beens on Facebook. Now I ponder
revenge. Suggestions?

* = Definately not verbatum, but quite local.
Related Twitterings: here and here.

edit: missing some 'T' action up there..
Tags: fart fm, fartfm, heart, heart fm, humourless, lame, lol not

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