Кевин (mmn) wrote,
Кевин
mmn

Crazy Neighbour Be Crazy

My new neighbour is nuts, not the kind of normal nuts, I mean completely bat shit crazy.

Like I get it living in Paris in enclosed spaces with limited sound proofing can be annoying, but she is the most annoying of them all.  Yet acts like she’s a victim.

Her and her ex boyfriend used to scream at each other in to the night and when he left, she just continued screaming at his messagerie for as long as possible.  I’d like to think he dodged a bullet, but he cray too, so non.

She is always storming in at every hour with her phone pressed to her head at the loudest volume possible, usually screaming about something, thankfully she likes to hit the grass after she gets home to shut her self the fuck up calm down.  But unlike most people, she refuses to open a window, so the whole place smells like an old bong all the time.

Did I ever mention that my landlady is a judge?  Probably not, but you think if you’re going to do something that is technically illegal, you should not do it in a smell away from the law.

I once had to avoid her in the shower because she decided to scream at the door because I was being « loud », she was also upset I spat in the toilet while I was peeing (that’s what toilets are for).  She also loves to go in the toilet to flush it while I’m in the shower, at this point my revenge is already planned for that.

I’ve lived her for two years now and quite frankly she’s upset the balance of the floor to the point I hope she gets herself arrested for something.  Probably smashing a wine bottle in an old woman’s face for being old in her presence.

In short, she is the textbook definition of pétasse and not in the good way either.

To you horrible neighbour, I salut you, sale pétasse.

Also available on costelloe.ca.
Tags: english, france, horrible people, neighbour, paris, pétasse, pétasse parisienne
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