November 5th, 2003

Ohh shiny things

Woop! Woop! Dats tha sound of da police.

fig 1a. Community "Safety" Vehicle

The police seem to have it in for everybody today, this morning as I was driving in to town I saw them stopping motorists outside of the police station (how lazy) for god knows what, it really couldn't have been speeding as the average speed was roughly 15mph so it was probably tax discs, etc.

Then at lunch I find one of them scouring the car park for those evil criminals who fail to pay 45p for an overpriced parking spot, upon finding one he stands there waiting for the individual to return. However, I suspect he got bored and left as the car was still there and he wasn't when I left.

As I was leaving the town centre I saw the Community Murder Vehicle (upon seeing it most motorists hit the breaks, thus causing an accident that kills many in a glorious petrol fueled fire) most likely collecting video of number plates for some poor n00b police person to scour for evil non-paying tax fiends!

edit: it's a good idea to close your html tags.


The Perfect Scam - Australia

Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check cheque.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company check cheque.

However, due to the name of the company, few people will present
these check cheque to their banks. The name of the company:
"The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."