February 2nd, 2004

Cheerleader Cherie

Look mum, I'm jumping on the bandwagon!

Since everybody else on LiveJournal is doing it....

Janet Jackson shows her pleasure ball on television, many upset and tears from thousands of children.

In related news Bush is going to have an independent investigation on Iraq and it's "intelligence", a White House official named Lord Hutton as the chief investigator. Lord Hutton was quoted as saying "I suspect the BBC is to blame for the inteligence cock-up". The new director general of the BBC, Alistair Campbell, places the blame on the former DG.

And that my friends is the news from MadSquirrels.com Good day chimpanzee!
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly
Ohh shiny things

An open letter.

Dear Scotland,

From this day forth I shall employ a team of snipers to wait at your borders, when a Scottish person attempts to enter England they will be asked a few commonsense questions, if they fail they shall be asked to leave. In the event they do not comply they will be executed on spot at the pleasure of her majesty.

It would not have to had come to this if you controlled your own people who are now sitting on the phone with me now not accepting the fact that no dial tone means you can't log-on to the internet (this call has taken 15 minutes so far).

Kind regards,
-Kevin
  • Current Mood
    distressed distressed
Cheerleader Cherie

An open letter...

Dear cyclists,

If you EVER cycle like this muppet I will run you off the road to make a point.

I'm in town going towards the Somefield car park and this cyclist is about to bolt out in front of me (as they all do) so I stop, he doesn't go (considering it is my right of way in the first place he should have waited anyways) so I continue, then he turns into the road and keeps up with my blind spot so now I'm paying attention to the idiot beside me and not the idiots infront of me, thankfully nothing bad really happened but this fool still followed me in the stupid same place.

This is why I think there should be road tax for cycles, even if it's £1 they should require to take a three page question and answer, multiple choice and essay exam before getting their tax discs. Some people are just too stupid to walk on a road let alone cycle down one.

-Kevin
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
I HAS HAT

I had the perfect line...

I just had the best line that I could have ever done, but this was at work so I was unable to use it.


Sales Cunt: Can you mention "telephone engineer" to David?
Me: Only if you promise to mention "euthanasia" to a doctor.


THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN PURE CLASS.