December 18th, 2006

Cheerleader Cherie

[Repent Heathen!] Chippenham, a special place for special people.

Normally I'm a rather nice chap behind the wheel, not much angers me, with of course the exception of the unbelieveably stupid. But even still I can deal with it like an adult and move out of the way and onward.

Unfortunately, I lose my rag slightly when the other party is a dribbling retard.

If you know of Chippenham or have once been through it you'll know of what I speak later on in this venom filled post.

Cutting a story really short because I am indeed that angry still I shall end it for you. As I'm leaving Morrisons, I'm on a two way road and to my left is a one way out road, which has this road marking (see image below) altering drivers to slow down or stop and that people on the road I'm travelling on have right of way.

Now I do realise when you have the IQ of a peanut this could be confused with "GO FASTER" or "EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG, SMASH 'N SUE", which is exactly what I had to swerve and avoid at a whopping 20mph. After ending up in the right hand lane and abruptly stopping my car this fucking moron then gives me the Chippenham stare.

When you get a Chippenham stare is re-enforces the idiology that they are all indeed inbred pig fuckers without a clue, the look tells "normies" (like you and myself) that "I don not understand why you are cross with me" much like a dog would give you when you start smacking it around for no reason what so ever.

This is what really made me lose the plot, here I am on the wrong side of the road shouting at this mong through my windscreen shortly after having to partake in "smash avoidance techniques" and this fucking tard is staring at me without the slightest clue that he's a fucking idiot.

Thankfully I was saved by the Gay Pimp's podcast which, with great use of comedic timing, started to play a bit where they impersonate Britney Spears getting finger blasted by Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Yes, that stopped me from tearing this window licking spastic from his car and smashing his big fucking inbred face against the Give Way road markings before taking down the Give Way sign and shoving it up his chuff. Be thankful you dirty fucker that you're able to spend another day impregnating your skank ho of a sister and taking your daddy's penis juice like a man.