February 6th, 2011

ZOMBIE JESUS

Saturdays are ARSE.

So this Saturday was pretty much an utter washout for about a hundred reasons, but let's just start off with the events only a few hours after it started.

Living in a city centre flat it's not unusual for cunts druken clubbers to press the intercom every so often at unsocial times in the night. The sound this thing makes is probably louder than the fire alarms, but thankfully I have developped a tolerance of about 1 or 2 buzzes before I wake up with a shock and that shit drops like it's hot when I'm woken up.

At 3.21 (I remember this as I used it as a part of a venomous rant) it started buzz Buzz BUZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ I literally jump out of bed, slammed my foot on the floor in shock and ribs screaming out like I just been punched. I came up to the intercom and blasted out WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING WANT, IT'S THREE-TWENTY-FUCKING-ONE IN THE MORNING?!?!?//1/1/1/ONEONEONE she replies I want to speak to Keith, I know he lives on this road, I need to speak to him! I've just been mugged and I want to speak to Keith! at this point I enabled tolerance mode, he's not in this flat, I think he's either 4 or 1. Do you need the police? she replies No, I want Keith, I want to speak with Keith. Which button are you so I don't press you again, Keith lives on this street! I tell her I'm the second button to the top and I leave her to it.

She continues to sound the death siren on my intercom regardless. At this point tolerance mode is starting to ware thin, I offered assistance, it was declined, ignored and she's clearly pissed as a fart.

The next person she gets is the woman below me, who is actually rather nice (she cleaned the entire public areas from ground to top floors carpets, tile floor and dusted with no question just for the sake of it). Much like my greeting was WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, IT'S THREE FUCKING AM, WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?same conversation ensues "I want Keith *blah blah* lives on this street *blah blah*" she mentions the mugging thing, the lady down stairs offers to ring the police which is declined. Like me she then left her to it.

Yet, still continues to buzz every flat in the building. Now I'm already savage about this as she's got as much help from two random strangers she could ever need chucked it in our faces and is continuing to annoy us, even though it appears Keith either doesn't fucking live here or he's not in if he did. It's also not considering that I have to be up in 90 minutes for work and same thing with the flat below as they both work weekends as well.

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* (and repeat).

I'm just about to pick up the intercom and read her the riot act when the window below opens up and the woman below (who is quite Spanish) basically tells her how it is.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL DOING? IF YOU DON'T WANT THE POLICE THEN FUCK OFF, FUCKING BITCH IT'S THREE AM, GO AWAY, HE'S NOT HERE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, STUPID BITCH" she retorts BUT I'VE BEEN MUGGED DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT KEITH, HE LIVES HERE, ON THIS STREET, HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIVED THERE? KEITH HAS LIVED HERE LONGER THAN YOU HAVE" now by now I probably would have poured a kettles worth of boiling water on her head, I totally understand that she's in a shitty place right now, but we tried to help her and actually it's her problem and not ours that she got mugged. The arguement contnued for another 15 minutes with highlights of FUCKINGSTUPIDFUCKINGBITCHFUCKYOU and KEITH HE LIVES HERE ON THIS STREET.

By about 4am she finally fucks off, where she went who the fuck cares, but maybe she sobered up enough to go find a copper. I know the woman downstairs called them, but at that time on a Saturday morning the ETA for any emergency service is somewhere around an hour by phone. I managed to get less than an hours sleep after that and I was not feeling being awake when I woke up again to go to work.

To and from work I was just hanging, I couldn't get my brain to spark and it was pretty much information in, garbage out.

Once I got home this over-all tiredness on top of everything kind of made me crack a bit under the pressure. Collapse )

But on the brightside I have at least lost nearly 2 stone. So there are few positives.
ZOMBIE JESUS

[FO] What's also really making everything worse...

... is not only not being able to feed and clothe myself, but my father who our relationship can only be described as estranged basically went through some bad times and has been in contact.

His brother who is probably about the same age as him died.  He got a call on his birthday that his brother was in hospital dying.  His brother (one of many) was also estranged from the entire family, drunk himself to death and has shook him and the family up.  Him and his wife (my father) are in a pretty shit financial position so they had to find the money out of nowhere, book a very last minute flight (basically they drove to the airport) and all he had on him was his passport, what he was wearing and had $5 cash.

So his wife and him have contacted me after all this time, initially seeing if I would be able to make it down there (the hospital/London) which I couldn't since I literally have 33p to my name.

I've now got a BBIM/Email from my father letting me know when the funeral is and that the family (he comes from 10 brothers and sisters) want to meet me along with him keeping in contact more.

The funeral is on the 17th, which I can't go to because I haven't two pennies to rub together to get there, I haven't even a suit to wear even if I could and on top of that I look like a bloody scruff as I haven't had a haircut since November.

I actually don't know what I'm going to do, if I don't show up it's basically seem that I'm just being an ultimate cunt chops and I will probably never meet the lot of them (they live in Ireland, Spain, Canada, The USA, everywhere which they are all making it in - and I can't even get in from BRISTOL).  I can't borrow the money to go there, I haven't a credit card, my credit rating is so low that even Pay Day lenders won't touch me any more, even if I could get a pay out from one of them I haven't the means to pay them back, so I'd be committing a criminal act.  I've also borrowed from friends and family to make it through January so I can't go down that road again.

It's so FRUSTRATING considering what's gone down for him to speak to me again (there is a long unhappy story why we didn't really talk up until this point).
SNOWMAGEDDON

[FO] I normally don't post Friends Only....

Facebook is not a happy place right now, my timeline is filling up with family photos and various comments of an emotional theme.  I'm not going to get involved right now and start posting comments/replies I'll wait until the coming days and after I have a word with my father and sort of figure out when to step in.

The man on the left is John who passed away Friday morning and the man on the right who looks suspiciously like me is my father.  I think this was from his [my fathers] and his wife's trip to Surrey a year or two before John and his wife went over to see my father in Canada.  I happened to be around for the latter visit which basically ended in them not talking until Thursday this week just before John died.

I personally didn't know John that well and that visit he made with my father was the first and last time I met him.

I don't tend to post much about my family because it's a bit of a sensitive topic of mine but seeing the events unfold over the last few days kind of make me want to address it a bit more.

The bit that kind of gets me is that after my car accident it sort of made me think what would have happened if I died (I know that seems really emo, but it was pretty bad and we did very well to come out with nothing but minor injuries)?  My mother would have found out eventually through a series of people down a emergency contact chain but my father could have quite easily gone a few good years without knowing.  Seeing as we didn't speak for something close to 6 years until a couple days ago and he didn't know where I lived it's entirely a plausible outcome.

So I think with the recent passing on of John, he's keen not to let the same thing happen happen to me (if that makes sense) and the only reason we didn't talk was over a falling out of nuclear proportions and I don't speak to the family because I've never known any of them.

But after what has happened they're keen to get to know me, my father is keen to stay in touch and I basically some how found myself in the middle of a mega family and no fucking idea where to start.  So for me it's trying to digest John's death, the circumstances around me and my father's relationship and being thrust in to a group of people I know absolutely nothing about.  And it's only a matter of time before I get my first email, phone call or facebook notification. 

I figured I might as well write about it as its pretty much the only way I'm going to stop dwelling on it and this LiveJournal has been a time line of events since 2000, so it's a mega-mega part of my existence.  I may even after time has passed open up this entry or maybe even set it to private tomorrow.  We'll see.
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