Кевин (mmn) wrote,

You collect shit and you’re good at it.

At work I have a bit of a reputation to collect shit.  Not just little bits and peices I’m talking proper shit.

«Hello, my sprinter broke down, I have no mobile and I’m calling on a phone box, oh and I’ll confirm everything you want to hear and I won’t listen to you»

Go back in to the notes and it’s a 4.5 tonne van which just about nobody can take let alone attend and no way to contact this man.  Solved after 2 solid hours.

 «My Hi-Lux slid in to a ditch, no there isn’t any dammage and I’m just lying to you right this moment.  Oh winching it out won’t work.»

After spending 30 minutes calling one recovery after the other I found somebody who could hiab this bag of shit out for me at what appeared to be a resonable rate and ETA considering they were hiabing like it was going out of style. Solved after 15 call, 4 hours and handed off once it turned out we couldn’t winch the fucking thing out because all four wheels we’re pointing to God.

 «Could you check the local dealers tomorrow and see if we can do this faster elsewhere, have it recovered if you need to.  Then let the fleet contact know.»

Walk straight in to a disaster, breakdown not followed up, recovery location somewhere in Luton vehicle actually in Tamworth somewhere.  The driver knows more than we do and they don’t know it.  Sorted, 2 days and only one impersonation of the client to the RAC.


«9.20 - Fleet manager called to complain, keep your review on this and chase it up»

This one I went proper spastic over, I had spent the previous day writing 6 pages of notes, in fact it was just short of actually explaining the tyre making process and how we were going to fit them.  I was even prepaired to drive up to Worcester myself and sort them with the amount of hard effort and harassment I put in to this job, when the following day I’m in at 10.00 to find at 8.59 in the morning one of my cow-orkers shat upon me to the fleet contact, who then of course complained because it didn’t look like I even bothered.  I then partook in a complete spas-out through the internal communication system before giving up after I received

 «So what’s the problem?»

Jesus christ on a stick.  I took 40 calls and rejected nearly 200 others because I couldn’t be fucked after that joyus event.  Sorted, following day at 16.10.

«That’s unacceptable!  I told your collegue this and he obviously dropped you right in the shit!»

Some of our drivers are complete knobs, it’s a fact of life, this one was a justified one, we promised him the world and sent him me to break the bad news.  He went ape shit on me for 10 minutes, then the last 5 minutes I gave him a realistic solution.  I got him a hire and had his issue sorted.  My notes are always professional as our clients may ask for them at anytime and get the whole version sent to them, my ones on this read.  «HIRE - 1.6 - Please obtain authorisation and see my mailbox prior» which read:

«In your stack you’ll find two jobs which I do not want to see back in mine, period.  A 1.6 was obtained how you gain authorisation isn’t my problem.  If he needs to be swapped out, it’s all yours.»

But of all my favourite ones this had to be it:

 «I’m in Tesco’s car park, I’ve been here since 9am.»

Mind you I got this call at 13.00, so we’re well in to complaint letter territory, solution get him recovered out of Tesco’s car park.  5 minutes.  Far from rocket science, except somebody sat on that egg until I received it rotten and in my face.

I love what I do.  Don’t get me wrong, all these kind of jobs actually make my work day exciting, but I want a change.  I want to try my hand at the accident management side, less of the OMG CALL TARGETS! and a whole lot more thought process (and it’ll allow me to get away with my over-described notes).  Plus the chairs are better and the aircon works.   I’m going to see if I can hurl myself at said challenge.

But as it was said this evening «they need you over here, if they lost you it’d be like losing a testicle» as well as my recent team brief document says (just after how my internal call rates are at near sackable numbers) «You take on and follow to the end complex and difficult jobs, this is a real commitment.»

So it makes asking about such a change to be a bit difficult as I do feel that if I were to wander away it would make things harder for some, but I’m not entirely the backbone of it either, everybody does their share and most of the time I just sit there in my corner and swear profusely (which is also grounds for disipline I might add) then fix things without spending most of my day sending the job between other people bitching while some poor sod is sat on the M1 in pouring rain waiting for the AA who will never come and move on to the next task.

Seriously.  I’ve never spent this much time thinking how I’ll approach something like this.  Crazy.

Originally published at Кевин.com.ua. You can comment here or there.

Tags: employment, investors in people (trade), stress

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