I’ve been quite silent on this weblog for sometime now and all you people have had to read is twitters, links from del.ici.ous and the occasional photo off ShoZu which craps out if you put too much text in to it.
But now you can rejoyce, this is the first DAY I’ve had to myself in the homestead to think, clean and watch television whilst rubbing one off to columbo! This post might be insightful, it might not be but it’s going to happen now so relax OR ELSE.
The first thing I should update you on is my new job promotion to Accident Management which should be fun. This will be as of 07.04.08 so it’s all cool in the school. I will also get internets access so I may possibly update from there if I can (cos work is the only place I’m at now days).
But all is not good in my life, granted all I do is work now, it pays off but at the same time it diverts my attention from my life, which is pretty much in dire need of attention now.
Mostly because I’ve started the process of attraction with a smart, sexy, crazy and completely closed book of a guy at work. He’s great, I love the guy, I can’t even put in to words how much this is the case.
He says he’s straight, he says he’s done this that and the other but my god his body language does not even remotely correspond to what he says, which is what is making my life so shit right now.
Over the last two to three weeks I have been seriously considering what I need to do about him, because I don’t want to put myself in to a position I can’t get out of emotionally, but now it’s far too late for this I’ve stepped beyond this point and I’m now completely falling for him.
The problem with this is we get on like a house on fire, in fact, we’ve taken the street down with us. But each time he’s got to say I’m not gay or a story about shagging a woman or something. Which I then have to back off a bit. But I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck here. He says one thing and reacts in a completely different way. Why do I pick people like this? What is up with me? PLZ XPLAIN INTERNETS?!
I will need to have a bit of a sit down, think about everything and just go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? I lose, essentially, somebody who is so completely like me in all respects if he never wants to speak to me again. Being gay I can accept, in fact it’s been good fun, but times like these, it makes you realise how shit it really is.